How to Stay Positive and Happy While Dating in Your 40s

How to Stay Positive and Happy While Dating in Your 40s

You might believe that if you’re dating in your 40s, the only guys left are rejects with a shit ton of baggage.

I think this belief is rooted in the simple truth that once you hit your 40s, any man in the dating pool is likely divorced with children. And that man is probably carrying around residual scars from his divorce.

What I want you to know is that these factors do not make someone undateable. In fact, I would guess that if you’re dating in your 40s, you might be in a similar situation.

During my 20+ years as a coach and therapist, I’ve heard many women say, “Everyone on dating apps is horrible, sketchy, unattractive!”

I have to remind them, “But you’re also on the dating apps. Are you including yourself in the ‘everyone’? Or is it just ‘everyone else’?”

Dating in your 40s and beyond can be extremely challenging, but it’s not impossible.

So many people find love later in life. You can totally have a second (or third or fourth) act. Let’s talk through how to stay positive and happy while you search for it!

Reevaluate your dating criteria while dating in your 40s

Do you have a dating wish list? Maybe you think back and remember your high school boyfriend fondly: he had a full head of hair, sparkling teeth, played the guitar and swept you off your feet.

As for the “baggage” that these guys might be carrying, reminder: everyone has baggage! And the older one gets, the more bags they likely have. Please don’t use “baggage” as an automatic reason to rule someone out. There are degrees of baggage and you should evaluate potential dates on a case by case basis.

If a guy is willing to share his history with you and you see evidence that he can be introspective and that he has the ability to take responsibility for his actions and mistakes, that’s a huge green flag-a sign that he might make a great partner despite any mistakes he may have made in past relationships.

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